Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Saturday, October 25, 2014
This blog is where I express my feeling. As a therapy. I do not write to raise sympathy or to please readers. I have right to express myself didnt I? I also have right to have 1001 type of feelings. Is it wrong for me to be sad or angry? I never cried to you for help. Why you always act like you miss-know-it-all? Im always the weak type, always let others do or say anything they want because I dont like argument. Now that I looked angry,you said that I shouldnt be angry because Im the one who crying for attention and support at the first place. And now when people giving their care and support,why should I angry???!
Im sooooo curious. Just when do I ask for the support? Do I write everyday asking people to help me?To give attention to me? To sympathize me? I never forced anyone to read everything I wrote before. You can block or go away from it if you feel sick of my melancholy. I have no problem with that. Its your right. But my sad stories are all here and in wechat status. You are not my follower in any of that,arent you?
And one more thing, do you know every little things I went through to judge me? Do you know what EXACTLY happened? Yes you can say what you want. But you dont know what you were saying. You just read what they are saying and made some judgement. I was not comfortable to talk about that topic, thats why I chose to be silent. How do you expect me to respond to your idea then?
1. Yes dear,I will do that
2. Oh, I forgot him already
3. I dont want to move on :(
4. Help me forget him!
5. Thank you my dear friends,I love you!
Number 5 is soooo correct. I never found nice friends as you guys. But if I wrote that,will I stop the topic?
I just want to avoid the topic and all Gemok story in that group. I did mention about Gemok sometimes to share something about the topic. Thats all. Hes my bestfriend and always with me during my worst time. I love him but he doesnt. Im okay with that. Its not something that can be forced. Again,my melancholy is a way I release the pain, not to make him love me. He will if he want to. And I dont want to have another love because I just dont feel like it. I will when the time comes. Its not something that can kill me if I dont.
I never judge you, I always think you are super cool. You got many talents, I somehow idolized you.
You are too perfect. Just ignore this loser. And stop this already. I already have piles of problem right now,well..it might sound tiny for someone mighty as you.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Kat group whatsapp siang tadi diorang dok kerjakan aku.siap buat hashtag special. Pastu heran nape aku menyepi sepanjang hari. Saje malas nak masuk.
Sebabnya? Diorang komen macam aku meroyan tak dapat Gemok. Padahal aku okey je. Kat wechat tu nampak je macam aku buat ayat frust menonggeng. Tapi sebenarnya aku okey. Ade la sorang member yang memahami datang private message aku cakap bertabahla, kite je tahu apa yang kita lalui. aku terharu,tapi sebenarnya aku okey je. Dan aku boleh je nak cari lelaki lain. Tak la sampai nak clingy sangat kat Gemok. Tapi aku malas nak cari. Kan aku baru sambung belajar.life tak stabil. Finance pun tak stabil. Kalau aku gatal nak bercinta sekarang bukannya bole kawin dalam masa terdekat pun. Aku tak minat bercinta sebenarnya. Sebab tu la aku selesa kawan dengan Gemok. Sebab kawan tanpa cinta. Lelaki lain cuma nak cinta je kalau tak,taknak kawan rapat.
Seriously,aku tulis segalanya dalam blog sebab aku nak luahkan ape je yang aku rasa dan fikir tanpa perlu fikir apa yang orang lain akan fikir tentang aku. Kalau dalam fb or wechat, orang akan tanya "what happen darling,are you ok","be patient darling" and so on. For me blogging is dead end. Apa yang aku tulis tu berhenti kat situ je. Dan seriously aku pun kadang kadang lupa apa yang aku pernah tulis kat sini.
So please,just read and forget. Everything ends here. I dont want to talk about what I blogged. This is my other life. And please,mind your words toward others. Im not perfect, I might hurt others with my words too. Sorry guys. Please do not judge others.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Amboi soalan. Disebabkan aku sebut nama Gemok dalam 2 topik harini. Maka nama Gemok muncul lagi dalam group whatsapp kami. Bukan sengaja nak sebut. Satu pasal basikal. Kan ke susah nak cite "kakak n abg ipa mmbe aku pun dok main basikal". Menimbulkan keraguan lak kan. Pastu tak cite lak adik di kampung pun berbasikal. Tapi basikal kanak kanak la haha. Satu lagi pasal moto GP hujung minggu ni.
Pastu diorang mula keluarkan soalan wartawan. Tak perlu kot paste kat sini nanti kena mintak tolong stickwithu.com sebab tak dapat lulus interview kerja.haha.ok tak da kaitan
Antara soalan tu "ko rindu Gemok eh", "Gemok tak rindu ko ke?" Suruh tanya direct kat Gemok. Jawapan aku senang je. "Kalau dia tak tiba2 mesej cakap dah sampai kat KL,maksudnya dia tak rindu aku la tu" Simple but deep.
Lepas tu aku cakap kat diorang yang aku akan cite kat sini jawapan Gemok.
Aku dah tanya direct tapi dia tak jawab yang tu. Dia jawab soalan lain. Hahaha.